Saturday, June 2, 2012

Focus on the Family Community: Relationships and Marriage: What ...

Before I was married I was involved in friendships with two christianc who were emotional abusers. I'll call one Tim and the other Kim. They believed they heard from God and could tell me what I was thinking or not thinking. This led to control, emotional abuse and manipulation.? Very cultish behavior.? I was with them for 4 years and had no self esteem when God intervened and led me out.? I have seen several christian counselors and feel that I have been healed form the abuse that occurred. This happened over 20 years ago and I am now married with 6 children.? My husband also knows the two previous friends and the abuse that occurred and has done some business with one because they live in the same area we live in.? I do not avoid them if I happen to run into them and know that I have forgiven them because I no longer feel tense or anxious when I see them.? Just recently, my husband was hired by Tim and spent an hour talking with him about God and according to my husband some personal things.? This normally wouldn't be an issue, but from previous experiences, it is a tactic this person uses to hook and control.? A red flag went up and I wanted to discuss this with my husband.? We started a discussion, and my husband began telling me that Tim told him some personal things.? At this point, I asked my husband not to tell me what they discussed.? He wanted to tell me again, but I restated what I said.? I do not want to hear any personal information about the converstaion.? He told me that if I am healed, I should be able to talk about Tim with me.? Now I'm confused.? I have forgiven Tim and know that I do not need to be connected to him.? I do know that? I have forgiven Tim because he no longer has consumed my thoughts with anger and that has stopped years ago.?? I'm frustrated that my husband doesn't see this and am disappointed that he wouldn't be more protective.? This has caused division.

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